High School - Jr. High -

His Calling, Your Care —

By Kayla Harker, Saddleback Church

Created on 09/25/2018

You don’t have to be a pastor’s wife to feel the pressure of ministry, but if you are, you probably know it all too well. As the daughter of a junior high pastor, I struggled for years trying to find a ministry that was a good fit for me.

"Whether you’re showing up weekly to youth group and sitting in the front row or juggling four kids … if you’re caring, you’re serving. "

I never felt called to junior high ministry, but I felt guilty for not volunteering in the ministry where the rest of my family served. Truthfully, junior high students bugged me. (No, I don’t want to watch you solve a Rubik’s cube in 10 seconds, thank you.)


I found my niche serving for several years in the children’s ministry and worship ministry, and eventually, the guilt faded away. It wasn’t until I married a college pastor (They say you marry someone like your father, right?) that the feeling crept back in. I love youth ministry – it’s been a huge part of my life since I was born – but volunteering in the ministry has never felt like I was pursuing my calling. I’ve enjoyed it, but I never felt fulfilled the way other things I love have fulfilled me.

I love meeting people for coffee. I love conversations. I love having people over for dinner. I love writing letters to friends, and I love helping my husband prep for a message. I love caring for him and his ministry, but that doesn’t mean I need to be the star volunteer. My care is my service. It’s my ministry, and it’s yours too. The encouragement you give your husband, the care you show his team, the meals you make for his students, the letters you leave on his desk – all of it is serving.

Not all pastor’s wives are called to pastoral ministry. That’s the calling placed on our husbands. But all pastor’s wives are all called to support and care for our husbands in that role. Whether you’re showing up weekly to youth group and sitting in the front row or you’re juggling four kids at home and just hoping to catch service online – if you’re caring, you are serving.